Before, After
Ask yourself and consider:
What is the issue, situation or problem about which you would like some resolution?
What goal do you have for the outcome of the constellation?
The following questions are intended to jog your memory about important events that may have shaped and affected your family system. Character and personal interests are not useful in this work. Events, which have an impact on the lives of the people involved, do have significance.
PRESENT FAMILY: spouse, siblings, children, former partners and children from former marriages/ relationships.
FAMILY of ORIGIN: your siblings, parents, uncles & aunts, grandparents, and in memorable or tragic cases, great grandparents, and premarital partners.
Is there anything that happened in your present family or your family of origin that was tragic or unusual? (a family story which goes back generations is relevant)
Did or does anyone in your family...
* die at a young age?
* die or experience danger during childbirth (grandmother, great grandmothers)?
* suffer from illness or disability from giving birth or other incidence?
* suffer excessive stress or mental illness? * attempt or commit suicide?
* die in action or kill others as a result of war? * experience living in a war zone?
* experience torture? * experience emotional or physical abuse?
* other?
Did or does anyone in your family...
* have a stillborn baby or vanishing twin? * have an abortion or miscarriage?
* have an ‘illegitimate’ child? * have a child given up for adoption?
* have a former spouse, fiancé, love partner? * have a serious or long lasting illness?
* have a physical or mental disability? * become a missing person?
* commit a crime or war crime? * survive or not the Holocaust?
* join the clergy or monastery? * emigrate to another country?
* experience prejudice? * lose their fortune?
* feel like the ‘black sheep’ of the family? * feel ostracized?
* suffer consistent prejudice?
* other?
Did or does anyone experience important events...
* a traumatic birth (a Caesarian, an induction, a super long labor)?
* a separation from mother at a young age?
* a traumatic childhood experience (abuse, war, abject poverty)?
* run away from home for a long time?
* a life threatening accident or a natural disaster?
* a grueling divorce?
* other?
AFTER A CONSTELLATION
By participating in a constellation, we most likely have received new insights, healing images, and a feeling for the soul's language. This work has a deep impact on the soul and may give our lives a new direction. It’s important to accept and balance the benefits of the work, which takes time. Be patient. The persona’s mind thinks quickly. The soul moves more slowly. Its advisable to think less about the change brought about in the Knowing Field. We want to understand what happened, of course. Beyond that, the best approach is to allow the movement of the soul.
People process in different ways:
* In a quiet, sacred space at home or in nature, sit with the process. Remember what occurred during the constellation and actively receive it. Welcome the new information into your being. With as much ease as possible let the pain go. It is usual to feel ‘worse’ as the full depth of an experience opens up. This fosters complete acknowledgement and finally healing.
* Light a candle, and looking into the flame recall the meaningful moments during the constellation. Open your heart to their import.
Write a poem, paint, sing a song, which captures the essence of the experience. Capture the feeling and the message.
* Be gentle. Soak in a bath with Epsom and salts. Take a shower and wash away anything, which doesn’t belong to you. Cleanse and refresh yourself.
* Meditate on the constellation to glean what is vital and transcendent. Bring your attention to the healing, revealing, and liberating aspects of the constellation.
* Take a walk in nature, by the ocean, in the hills, in a park. Let the images, which arise from the constellation repeat, belong and speak to you. Some parts will fade. This is normal.
* Before sleep, ask to continue the work of the constellation in your dreams, and for resolution to be nurtured.
It may be helpful to call your facilitator, me, after a constellation. I will not explain what happened but guide the process for you to benefit from the profound shift in perspective. As much as possible, welcome in the new, however unfamiliar and strange it may seem. Then real change may take place. It is recommended that we do not talk about our constellation work for at least 40 days to let it "take root" inside us, allowing it to grow stronger. When you do talk about it remember to reflect on the resolution rather than any conflict that may have arisen to reassert the growth in your soul.
